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If we do live in a simulation, the RAM shortages happening right now must be super ironic for a computer that can run the universe.
u/ResidentAdmirable260 · 2026 · 6,521 pts
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The trick to stage hypnotism is figuring out who wants attention.
u/zjbird · 2025 · 6,491 pts
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The sun is the lowest thing on the food chain but would destroy any animal in a 1v1.
u/RedPantyKnight · 2025 · 6,466 pts
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If your first-ever attempt at gambling went completely unsuccessfully, that was probably the better outcome.
u/CoreEncorous · 2025 · 6,439 pts
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Even though Earth has 8 billion people, the world we built only really runs on about 4–6 billion being awake at once — humanity has never experienced all 8 billion people up and functioning at the same time.
u/OkRoad5574 · 2026 · 6,362 pts
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AI will save humanity by destroying social media as everyone starts to realize "nothing online is real anymore".
u/SugarTacos · 2026 · 6,309 pts
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You can’t smell your booger until you pick it despite being in your nose.
u/zav3rmd · 2025 · 6,271 pts
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In a few years, "AI-or-Real guesser" will probably be a real job.
u/LongSession4079 · 2025 · 6,265 pts
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The outcome of the card game 'War' is determined as soon as the deck is shuffled.
u/Pistolcrab · 2025 · 6,242 pts
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Maybe the rapture did occur, and we all just suck.
u/Deako87 · 2025 · 6,225 pts
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Pepsi could launch a video campaign featuring the tagline ‘Made by real humans, with love'... A counter to Coke’s image
u/TheJesterOfHyrule · 2025 · 6,224 pts
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Teenagers and adults finding each other gross is a feature, not a bug.
u/cimocw · 2025 · 6,194 pts
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I think it’s unusual that no standardized literary way to write the submissive “I don’t know” hum that children (and some adults) often mumble has ever caught on, considering how old and common it is.
u/Reas0n · 2026 · 6,175 pts
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Cats are probably very confused about why their human disappears for 8+ hours a day without returning with food.
u/Silly_Percentage3446 · 2026 · 6,116 pts
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If birds suddenly decided it was fun to poop on humans, there wouldn’t be much we could do about it.
u/Erlendh3 · 2025 · 6,114 pts
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There are people being born who will never know a world without AI.
u/DiscordantObserver · 2025 · 6,113 pts
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Telling students not to use AI at all in school is exactly as useful for preventing cheating as abstinence-only sex ed is at preventing STDs and unplanned pregnancies.
u/that_guy_you_know-26 · 2025 · 6,112 pts
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There are people not born yet that will die before you.
u/Meatwad5 · 2025 · 6,088 pts
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Social media companies in the future will be viewed like tobacco companies. Knowingly pushing a harmful & addictive product for profit.
u/deicist · 2025 · 6,069 pts
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If you were born in the '90s, you may be the last generation that remembers what it was like to go to the internet, rather than always being on it.
u/iam_tunedIN · 2025 · 6,060 pts
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When I die, someone is going to have to cancel all of my subscriptions.
u/doodybot · 2025 · 5,975 pts
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Vampire bites turning people into vampires is extremely disadvantageous to their survival.
u/Liuminescent · 2026 · 5,956 pts
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If we could shrink ourselves down, at a certain size we would stop being able to hear anything because the sound waves would be too big for our tiny ear holes.
u/cheese1102 · 2025 · 5,953 pts
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Your parents become less older than you, proportionally, every year after you’re born.
u/aBastardNoLonger · 2025 · 5,841 pts
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The AI bubble is driven by CEOs who’ve built their careers on judging the appearance of human work, where things only look good if someone actually put the effort in, suddenly meeting a technology that produces perfect‑looking work even when the substance is absent.
u/l4mpSh4d3 · 2026 · 5,772 pts
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The person who discovered popcorn must have been really surprised by it.
u/Narwahl_Whisperer · 2025 · 5,753 pts
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Pez is probably the only candy immune to shrinkflation, as changing the size or shape would prevent you from using Pez dispensers.
u/shofmon88 · 2025 · 5,740 pts
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In a more futuristic post-apocalyptic world, no one will be able to use machinery they find on their travels because they won't have the app for it.
u/morph23 · 2025 · 5,726 pts
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There have probably been multiple times that an animal was born with a game-changing mutation only to be killed by something outside of its control.
u/ScenicFlyer41 · 2025 · 5,711 pts
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The lawyer in Jurassic Park wasn't actually a coward: he just had to run to a toilet to avoid pooping himself in a humid, unairconditioned car with two random kids. There ain't no time to light a flare gun and look cool; not when your ass is the flare gun.
u/PanickyMushroom · 2025 · 5,672 pts
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Public beaches remind us of how much the marketing and movie industries distort our reality.
u/gachunt · 2025 · 5,665 pts
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The McDonald's CEO can redeem himself by going on Hot Ones.
u/jenkinsleroi · 2026 · 5,604 pts
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Cheques were wild. You could basically make a single bank note in any denomination you liked. Want a $72.43 bill? Easy. $2500 note? No problem.
u/Tutorbin76 · 2025 · 5,569 pts
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The portrayal of caveman as being burly is probably pretty unrealistic when you realize how lean most of the people modern-day hunter-gatherer communities look.
u/ironwolf6464 · 2025 · 5,539 pts
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There are people alive today who have heard the camera-shutter sound-effect more often than they’ve heard real shutters.
u/SexySwedishSpy · 2025 · 5,473 pts
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My microwave has cooked things at 59 and 29 far more times than 60 and 30.
u/ChallengeAcceptedBro · 2025 · 5,461 pts
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Digital archaeologists in a distant future are going to think a lot more happened on 1 Jan 1970 than actually happened.
u/DasArchitect · 2025 · 5,361 pts
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In the infinite set of all positive numbers, any number you can think of, no matter how large, is relatively a 'small' number because there is an infinite amount of numbers larger and a finite amount of number smaller.
u/AlexanderSalamander · 2026 · 5,360 pts
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Kissing booboos is one of the most basic examples of the placebo effect at work.
u/ChewyNutCluster · 2025 · 5,339 pts
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So many parents will be forced to endure junior high choir renditions of "Golden."
u/DenverDudeXLI · 2026 · 5,290 pts
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California’s new legislation regarding age verification of operating systems could allow a child running a billion DOS instances in virtual machines to bankrupt Microsoft in seconds, due to the fines they’d receive.
u/CMDR_omnicognate · 2026 · 5,280 pts
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It's really convenient that the ice in our drinks floats up, and then the liquid it cools sinks down so the entire drink eventually cools evenly.
u/LollipopLuxray · 2026 · 5,260 pts
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The older you get, the harder it gets to blast poop stains off the back of the toilet bowl.
u/TheRobbuddha · 2026 · 5,228 pts
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There is a chance that the sensitivity of testicles is a product of evolution. The cavemen who were not as protective took damage thus lowered their chances to reproduce. Was there a breed of numb balls at some point?
u/Vineyard-Bear2 · 2025 · 5,223 pts
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We always tell young aspiring artists they'll make no money, but we almost never tell young aspiring lawyers or doctors they'll have loans to pay off.
u/musea00 · 2025 · 5,220 pts
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In an apocalyptic scenario, wild hogs would be a much bigger threat than most people realize.
u/BigDaddyDumperSquad · 2026 · 5,217 pts
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The Earth has probably not been without a manmade fire since the hominids who first discovered how to make it. A fire has been burning ever since. Also, what if one of the first manmade fires has been kept alive since it was lighted hundreds of thousands of years ago? Passing from torch to torch.
u/CoolAlien47 · 2025 · 5,213 pts
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The fact that many people still say "aux" when referring to playing music in a car through Bluetooth, is the modern version of how we still say "filming" when it comes to recording a video.
u/Dawjman · 2025 · 5,209 pts
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Saying “you’re quite self-aware” is a unique and fool proof compliment. If they are, they’ll agree. If they’re not, they won’t realize.
u/MoulikRT · 2025 · 5,186 pts
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Board games should pack two rule books. That way, multiple people can read the instructions at the same time.
u/Staple_Overlord · 2025 · 5,183 pts
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