1131 thoughts

Whoever created the tradition of not seeing the bride in the wedding dress beforehand saved countless husbands everywhere from hours of dress shopping and will forever be a hero to all men.
u/Yorkshire45  ·  2019   ·  219,174 pts
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We laugh at dogs getting excited when they hear a bark on TV, but if TV was a nonstop stream of unintelligible noises and then someone suddenly spoke to you in your language, you'd be pretty fucking startled too.
u/[deleted]  ·  2020   ·  182,158 pts
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When you're a kid, you don't realize you're also watching your mom and dad grow up.
u/zjb55446  ·  2019   ·  173,468 pts
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Dads probably bond with dogs so much because, in our society, men don’t get shown a lot of affection but dogs give tons of affection regardless
u/bypirates_myman  ·  2019   ·  160,089 pts
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Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self acceptance.
u/RodzRodzRodz  ·  2020   ·  152,605 pts
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Girls don't compliment guys because they're likely to take it non-platonically, guys take it non-platonically because it happens so infrequently they don't know how to handle it
u/belly_bell  ·  2019   ·  144,377 pts
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If elevators hadn't been invented, all the CEOs and important people would have their offices on the first floor as a sign of status.
u/[deleted]  ·  2020   ·  143,102 pts
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If EA suffers big enough losses from the backlash of Battlefront 2, and it all started because some guy couldn't unlock Vader, this will be the second time Anakin brought balance to something.
u/Fourohfourscore  ·  2017   ·  139,493 pts
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During a nuclear explosion, there is a certain distance of the radius where all the frozen supermarket pizzas are cooked to perfection.
u/Raghnarok  ·  2019   ·  138,490 pts
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Anxiety is like when video game combat music is playing but you can't find any enemies.
u/[deleted]  ·  2017   ·  137,933 pts
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Pavlov probably thought about feeding his dogs every time someone rang a bell.
u/pyro925  ·  2019   ·  137,708 pts
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11 babies have been born in Antarctica, and none of them died as infants, meaning Antarctica has the lowest infant mortality rate at 0%
u/pluey200  ·  2019   ·  137,302 pts
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We do not check the refrigerator multiple times to find new food, we check to see if our standards have dropped enough to eat what was available.
u/Cryptic_Cosmos  ·  2020   ·  129,671 pts
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The sentence "Don't objectify women" has "women" as the object of the sentence.
u/Stormfly  ·  2018   ·  127,312 pts
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Somebody at google was just like "yea, just have someone drive down every road on fucking earth".
u/LifeInKernelSpace  ·  2017   ·  126,551 pts
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College students don't want to go to graduation ceremonies, but they go to please their relatives, while relatives don't want to go but go to support the students; we should all just be honest and skip that ceremony and go out for pizza.
u/SightlessSenshi  ·  2018   ·  125,483 pts
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There is probably at least one white guy, adopted and raised in China, who speaks English with a Chinese accent and strangers just assume he’s a total asshole
u/LordMetrognome  ·  2019   ·  124,618 pts
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Apparently, a lemon is not naturally occurring and is a hybrid developed by cross breeding a bitter orange and a citron. Life never gave us lemons; we invented them all by ourselves.
u/TripleRangeMerge  ·  2018   ·  123,383 pts
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Being 35 and not wanting to work in the field for which you've prepared is like being half way through an RPG and realizing you've built out your skill tree all wrong and you can't respec and you can't make a new character and there will never be another video game again
u/themadpooper  ·  2018   ·  122,322 pts
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It would be cool if after you died you could see the top 5 times you almost died.
u/TerminalGay  ·  2019   ·  122,024 pts
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It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly
u/Aristea84  ·  2017   ·  121,821 pts
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Avatar, the highest grossing film of all time, seems to have made zero impact on culture. No one references the movie and no one really talks about it since it was released 10 years ago.
u/SilentWalrus92  ·  2019   ·  121,560 pts
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A guy named "Weird Al" has had a 40+ year long career with no allegations of sexual impropriety.
u/BillionTonsHyperbole  ·  2018   ·  120,959 pts
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We all think of Gordon Ramsay as an extremely picky food critic/chef but if your life's work was cooking and you saw a narcissistic restaurant manager breaking health code violations and making horrible food, you'd be pretty angry too.
u/[deleted]  ·  2020   ·  120,476 pts
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In the anime, Ash Ketchum was supposed to be a huge Pokémon fan before he left on his journey. But every time he sees any kind of Pokémon, he has to pull out his Pokédex because he doesn’t know what it is. Ash Ketchum was a poser before he left on his journey.
u/ProdigyLightshow  ·  2019   ·  119,117 pts
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Since there are 3600 seconds in an hour, and most people make less than $36.00/hr, their time is worth less than a penny per second. It's literally worth your time to pick up a penny from the ground.
u/ThatOneRoadie  ·  2018   ·  116,860 pts
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The syllables in “on your mark, get set, go” are a countdown
u/ManGood2002  ·  2019   ·  116,357 pts
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Security at every level of an airport is absolutely ridiculous. Until you get to the baggage claim. Then it’s just like take whatever bag you want.
u/PainMatrix  ·  2017   ·  115,901 pts
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Being a real grown up isn’t cooking a fancy dinner, it’s having a clean kitchen when you go to bed after cooking a fancy dinner.
u/sarahp1988  ·  2019   ·  115,870 pts
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Most of the trash you see on the ground is unhealthy food packaging because people who don’t care about their own health don’t care about the Earth’s either.
u/ScoopOfWhat  ·  2020   ·  115,617 pts
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Lamps in Videogames use real electricity.
u/1Ferrox  ·  2019   ·  115,395 pts
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Reddit Is Killing Third-Party Applications (And Itself)
u/Showerthoughts_Mod  ·  2023   ·  115,355 pts
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Coffee makes you hyper, but coffee shops are designed for people to chill, whereas alcohol is a depressant but bars and clubs are designed for people to be energetic.
u/ybarraymapea  ·  2019   ·  114,964 pts
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Humans cannot even live in harmony with their own species and somehow still convince themselves that meeting an extra-terrestrial species would go smoothly
u/[deleted]  ·  2021   ·  112,749 pts
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The internet both almost killed off the postal service with email and then made it more needed than ever with online delivery
u/cinimodhtrifhtims  ·  2019   ·  111,780 pts
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The spiders that live in Buckingham Palace now are probably the descendants of the spiders that lived there during Victorian times - it's a whole parallel royal family but with spiders
u/tylerolo  ·  2018   ·  111,238 pts
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Manuals for TVs are regarded as useless, but in five thousand years they are as valuable as the Rosetta Stone: it contains the same text in over 20 different languages and alphabets.
u/Thanos_meant_it_well  ·  2020   ·  111,068 pts
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Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.
u/kioshi43  ·  2019   ·  111,046 pts
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If Eminem’s Mom wanted to she could probably make a good amount of money selling her own spaghetti sauce
u/justjoshingiu  ·  2019   ·  110,956 pts
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The biggest form of peer pressure as a kid wasn’t drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes. It came during exams when it was completely silent and you heard everyone turn to page 2 while you were still on the first question.
u/Prophettx  ·  2019   ·  110,772 pts
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Both sexes can fuck a Pringles can, but neither can do it well.
u/[deleted]  ·  2019   ·  109,017 pts
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We give rude elderly people the benefit of the doubt because they've been through a lot, but there's a decent chance that old person has been an asshole their whole life.
u/EdwardNippleclamps  ·  2019   ·  109,008 pts
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Google earth is one of the most incredible things ever created by man but is taken for granted as if it were nothing.
u/RiccRoll  ·  2019   ·  108,489 pts
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Thermometers are speedometers for atoms
u/[deleted]  ·  2019   ·  108,136 pts
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One of the most frustrating feelings in the world is being smart enough to know there’s a better way to do something but not smart enough to invent a way to do it.
u/[deleted]  ·  2018   ·  107,888 pts
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Smoking kills you, but the actual “act” of smoking is a very healthy practice - leave a stressful environment, go outside for five minutes and take deep breaths.
u/nyquiljordan  ·  2019   ·  107,007 pts
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As a kid, teenagers seemed so big and scary because in most TV shows they were actually played by adults in their 20s.
u/Mbogdan00  ·  2020   ·  107,003 pts
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Tinder is the opposite of porn site advertisements. There actually are a ton of hot singles in my area, but none of them are interested in me.
u/kidkolumbo  ·  2017   ·  106,699 pts
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People who jog on the roads in the dark, wearing dark clothing and no lights or reflectors are a unique combination of a person who cares about their health and well-being and doesn’t care about their health and well-being.
u/MrSeverum  ·  2021   ·  106,620 pts
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The implication of a hotdog being puréed meat in animal casing (intestine) is that a hotdog doesn’t stop being a hotdog even after we eat it. By that conclusion, we, as the hotdog’s casing, become hotdogs ourselves when we eat hotdogs.
u/applepie1000  ·  2020   ·  106,576 pts
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