Browse — Showerthoughts

Superman’s most unappreciated power is his extraordinary fine motor skill. He has almost unlimited strength and can literally move mountains, yet is also able to shake someone’s hand without inadvertently ripping off their arm.

u/CapnFancyPants · 2020 · 106,103 pts

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In the Harry potter universe, couples could take polyjuice potion and swap bodies then have sex to see what it's like from both perspectives.

u/[deleted] · 2018 · 105,867 pts

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Watching a graduation ceremony is like sitting through a movie thats entirely end credits

u/definitelyusername · 2018 · 104,873 pts

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The kids growing up gaming on tablets are going to have all the internet addiction without any of the computer skills.

u/Sup3rPotatoNinja · 2020 · 104,482 pts

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You know you’re an adult when you miss trash day and it ruins your entire week.

u/frickafreshhh · 2021 · 104,283 pts

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On a galactic scale, amber and pearl are far rarer than gold and diamonds because they require life.

u/15_Redstones · 2020 · 103,659 pts

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It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it's fixed and finally cool, you leave.

u/SoDakMax · 2017 · 102,999 pts

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The Porn sites in the Star Wars Universe must have sooooo many categories.

u/blendergremlin · 2019 · 102,751 pts

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The fact that the death of a scientist is headline news worldwide is in some ways the most fitting tribute Stephen Hawking could possibly have.

u/jasontredecim · 2018 · 102,591 pts

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Running from the cops is the ultimate double or nothing.

u/PBCaptnCrunch · 2019 · 102,282 pts

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Talent shows like Britain's got talent become much more disturbing when you realise that it's just 4 rich people dangling money in front of poor people and telling them to dance for their entertainment.

u/matthiasjreb · 2019 · 102,198 pts

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When people brokenly speak a second language they sound less intelligent but are actually more knowledgeable than most for being able to speak a second language at all.

u/CaptainChloro · 2018 · 102,194 pts

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There is no physical evidence to say that today is Wednesday, we all just have to trust that someone has kept count since the first one ever.

u/WastedTalent442 · 2018 · 102,102 pts

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The tallest person in the world has physically experienced being the exact height of every other person in the world at some point

u/SilphRoadPokemon · 2019 · 102,017 pts

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Your future self is talking shit about you

u/[deleted] · 2018 · 101,783 pts

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The first person who inhaled helium must have been so relieved when the effects wore off

u/marchillo · 2018 · 101,735 pts

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Baby Yoda's first word probably came after his second word

u/illusion91121 · 2019 · 101,105 pts

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At the age of 60, Snoop Dogg will be 420 in dog years

u/[deleted] · 2017 · 100,829 pts

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Placing hand sanitizers in elevators would probably increase there usage simply because people have nothing else to do.

u/purple-parrots · 2020 · 100,740 pts

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Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it, but because you paid for it.

u/Jonshno · 2018 · 100,319 pts

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Nobody cares if their deodorant is 24 hour or 48 hour, they are still going to apply it once a day

u/cm775 · 2019 · 100,151 pts

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Sunny D tastes like someone made a bet that they could make orange juice without oranges

u/IrateCube · 2018 · 100,005 pts

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People who don't understand how Clark Kent can pass as superman have never seen Tony Hawk without a skateboard

u/mybustersword · 2020 · 99,533 pts

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Telling a dangerously overweight person not to lose weight because they're beautiful is like telling an alcoholic not to stop drinking because they're fun.

u/Kintarra · 2018 · 99,210 pts

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Replying "k" in morse "-.-", has the same passive aggressive tone

u/SunZiLei · 2018 · 99,123 pts

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The weird, artsy, loner usually gets the girl in movies (instead of the jock) simply because many movies are written by weird, artsy, loners.

u/lookin_cool · 2019 · 98,874 pts

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Both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand which makes skyscrapers just really tall sandcastles

u/Because_Logic · 2019 · 98,559 pts

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Today Is The Mondayest Thursday Ever.

u/robbman21 · 2019 · 98,485 pts

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Monopoly would be more realistic if the person with the most money got to change the rules whenever they liked

u/PooperOfMoons · 2019 · 98,148 pts

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Worms in apples has been less of a problem than what we expected as kids.

u/delusional-thomas · 2020 · 97,789 pts

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Being with people who don't listen is lonelier than being alone.

u/Festuspapyrus · 2020 · 97,701 pts

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Dads tell cheesy jokes not because humour gets worse with age, but because the more life experience you have, the more value you place on anything that might make someone laugh, even if it's at your own expense.

u/Alexander_Wrote · 2020 · 97,607 pts

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Wikipedia built the biggest modern information hub using nothing but nerds' need to correct each other.

u/octoberinmay · 2019 · 97,528 pts

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USPS could make more money if they put post offices in airports so instead of throwing something out that you forgot was in your bag you could mail it home.

u/SgtMcBiscuit · 2018 · 97,360 pts

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Telling kids that a cop will arrest you as a disciplinary tool, then expecting kids to tell a cop if something bad is happening to them, must be confusing as hell.

u/tearose11 · 2020 · 97,360 pts

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When medication says "do not operate heavy machinery" they're probably mainly referring to cars, but my mind always goes to forklift.

u/megadumbbonehead · 2016 · 97,207 pts

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People who respond with "That's not how the world works" when told to be nice are the reason that's not how the world works.

u/ObsoleteOcto · 2020 · 97,128 pts

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If people from the Star Wars universe ever came to Earth, the fact that it has deserts, rain forests, prairies, tundras AND oceans would probably be a real mind fuck for them.

u/dangerick · 2019 · 97,057 pts

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The ten years between 25 and 35 are far shorter than the four years between 14 and 18.

u/[deleted] · 2021 · 97,052 pts

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the clip of Will Smith already has more views than the film he won an Oscar for ever will

u/RadRightHand · 2022 · 96,598 pts

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An onion is the bass player of food. You would probably not enjoy it solo, but you’d miss it if it wasn’t there.

u/pete7568 · 2019 · 96,490 pts

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Before radios, tvs, and smartphones people never knew there were so many dumb people out there. They just thought it was that one guy in town.

u/[deleted] · 2020 · 96,440 pts

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If you were invisible, you could have a perfectly normal relationship with a blind person

u/Loobooway · 2019 · 96,405 pts

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Single Player games that don’t require internet are going to be extremely valuable during the apocalypse

u/The_Autismo · 2018 · 96,068 pts

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Anybody that questions why you are shoveling six inches of snow in the *middle* of a snowstorm hasn't shoveled twelve inches of snow at the end of a snowstorm.

u/Boss_Angler · 2018 · 95,875 pts

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Your thoughts could be in such a personalized coded shorthand that even if someone could read your mind they wouldn’t understand what the hell you’re thinking.

u/jfi224 · 2019 · 95,778 pts

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Mosquitoes sure are brave for creatures with only 1 hp

u/XW00DX · 2020 · 95,762 pts

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The average car in space is nicer than the average car on Earth

u/BronzeInKorea22 · 2018 · 95,465 pts

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If you are alone when you crack open a peanut shell and eat the peanut inside, you are the only person in the world to have ever seen that peanut.

u/choto · 2019 · 95,020 pts

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Maybe little kids have it right when they worship the garbage man, the postman, the guy who drives the semi and cranes, instead of admiring the cesspool of Hollywood that we adults seem to.

u/[deleted] · 2017 · 94,620 pts

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