1131 thoughts

Our brain constantly calculates possible futures and forgets about them immediately. Maybe deja vu is just our brain remembering the calculation and is surprised about actually having predicted the future.
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When we sleep, our brains have enough power to generate its own reality in dreams. When we’re awake, it doesn’t have enough power to remember why we walked into a room.
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People who make advertisements for girls' toys don't seem to have any idea how girls play with them. Barbies don't have nice civilised tea parties and talk about boys, it's more like Game of Thrones except everyone is a lesbian
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If you have a bachelor's degree in science or engineering, you have as much formal science education as Bill Nye. You are officially a Science Guy.
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Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds super rad if you don't know what either of those things are.
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The cops and soldiers wearing the Punisher Logo are exactly the people the Punisher would hunt
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After tea was discovered, a lot of people probably died trying to make similar drinks from leaves that turned out to be toxic
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Your dog thinks "fetch" is a game that the two of you made up, and he loves you for that
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If humans naturally had horns, we'd probably have to shave them down to a socially acceptable length.
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Men can direct blood flow with only the power of their minds.
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There should be a reality show where flat-earthers have to find the edge of the world.
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By always blaming Millenials, we are showing that our generation (which raised them) doesn't take responsibility for our problems.
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The Nordic people went from being the most feared and hardcore raiders,to being the nicest and politest people in Europe
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When you cannot sleep because you can’t stop thinking about something it’s like a single program not letting the computer shut down
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Sex is a lot like depression. Middle class parents don't realize that their children are having it.
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Some guy died running 26 miles and now people do it for fun. Basically rubbing it in his dead face.
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In the Harry Potter universe, where paintings and images can interact with those looking at them, "waifu pillows" are probably a lot more interesting.
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Having your body stretched on "the rack" torture device probably makes your back feel great at one point.
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When smart kids share random facts, adults tell them how smart and interesting they are, when smart adults share random facts, people tell them they’re annoying and weird.
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There should be a millenial edition of Monopoly where you just walk round the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
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You go to math class in school so that you can unlock different buttons on your calculator
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The super-rich have fast cars, private jets, many large homes, exclusive designer fashion, live-in chefs, original artworks, and the same phone as you.
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Lions are so badass, they became king of the jungle without even living there.
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Throwing a dead fly in the garbage would probably be seen as respectful by the fly community.
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Pets are "the 1%" of animals.
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There is a chance that someone you know will use your death as an excuse to get out of a social obligation they don’t want to go to.
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Pornhub comments are civil because everyone has had their hit of dopamine.
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Soon games will advertise "No DLC/Microtransactions" just like food advertises "No trans fats"
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Being a blacksmith must have been a real pantydropper back in the day seeing how Smith is the most common surname today.
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Squirrels have long, thin tails that just happen to be bushy. If not for that, they would look just like rats. Rats everywhere.
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As a child, you are amazed at how adults are able to do such complicated things. As an adult, you are amazed at how other adults are unable to do such simple things.
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Cocaine and Gillette razor blades cost too much to end up in some random kid's Halloween candy.
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Today, millions of children will ring the door bells of countless real life murderers, rapists and drug dealers.
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Cuttlefish can change color but can't see color. Maybe we physically change in a perceptible way based on our emotions but can't perceive it because we lack the senses to notice.
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No company has ever survived after its product killed more than 400 million of its consumers with evidence... except for cigarette companies.
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The fact that so many people make so much effort on the internet to make other random people from around the world laugh/feel better is a great achievement of the human race.
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If boys screamed at girl bands the way girls scream at boy bands it would be terrifying and hilarious
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If websites that are 18+ hadn’t stated thay they’re 18+ and instead simply asked for date of birth upon entering said website they would probably filter out more people that aren’t meant to access the site’s content
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If Star Trek-like transporter technology were invented, the airline industry would spend billions to discredit it as unsafe and scary.
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Anytime you kiss someone’s stomach you’re inches away from a shit they’re gonna take soon
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The reason Ouija boards say “Don’t play alone.” is because if you did, nothing would happen.
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Children don’t get more disrespectful as they age, they just slowly feel that they are mature enough to express their own feelings and concerns.
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Due to the existence of fireworks in the LOTR universe, middle earth historically speaking is probably only a few hundred years away from guns and military explosives
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The fact that bodies decompose and rot after they die just shows how much our bodies do to keep us alive from contaminates.
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Being 5 minutes early to an appointment doesn't feel that early but being 5 minutes late feels really late.
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People who seek relationship advice online are potentially altering family trees for thousands of generations based on input from total strangers who have limited information about one side of the story and no stake in the outcome.
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This is not the year for mistletoe in the workplace.
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Accidentally liking someone's post while snooping through their profile is the digital equivalent of stepping on a twig while sneaking through the forest.
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You actually are the boss fight for every enemy in the game.
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A kid who just learned the alphabet must look at a computer keyboard and think grown-ups are a bunch of fucking idiots
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