Browse — Showerthoughts

When you think about it, Shakespeare WAS the result of billions of monkeys trying to write stuff randomly for millions of years.

u/Defenestranded · 2018 · 76,103 pts

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Bill Murray's character was lucky he got a good night's sleep the night before Groundhog Day, otherwise he'd have been exhausted the entire time he was stuck in the time loop

u/ohgodspidersno · 2019 · 75,985 pts

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The larger the download button, the less safe it seems

u/Crunk_Sinatra · 2019 · 75,985 pts

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Somewhere in the world there is one penguin who is the most gnarly, hardcore, badass penguin living by penguin standards and to us it just looks like another chubby little bird.

u/credible_hulk · 2019 · 75,887 pts

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The rich used to pay peasants to entertain them and now the peasants pay the rich to entertain them.

u/General_lee12 · 2019 · 75,834 pts

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Rattlesnakes making a noise to scare us away before biting us is actually super chill on the snake's part. Rattlesnakes are the good guys of the venomous world.

u/dyyys1 · 2020 · 75,809 pts

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Future generations will have lots of high quality video footage of so many extinct animals.

u/[deleted] · 2020 · 75,782 pts

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Being a pet owner is like being a sugar daddy. You waste all of your money on keeping them happy, and the only thing they do is look cute and give you attention sometimes.

u/[deleted] · 2018 · 75,697 pts

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If penis size was as obvious as breast size the world would be a very different place.

u/badRLplayer · 2017 · 75,602 pts

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If we do colonize Mars, the reduced gravity will cause humans to be physically weaker, so we will probably use Martian as an insult synonymous with weakling.

u/[deleted] · 2019 · 75,392 pts

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You have the same amount of gold medals as almost every one who’s been in the Olympics

u/party216 · 2019 · 75,178 pts

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Taking into consideration how big the universe is there has to be a penis shaped asteroid just floating around somewhere in space

u/Rupertii · 2022 · 75,158 pts

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There's an NPC in a game somewhere still waiting on you to finish that side quest you forgot about that would change their life.

u/SmellMyWeenie · 2020 · 75,103 pts

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8 hours of drinking is binge drinking, 8 hours of TV is binge watching, 8 hours of sleep is barely enough

u/Regularoldballoon · 2017 · 75,063 pts

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If Apple manufactured clothing they'd probably have all the belt loops on their jeans a different size than normal, so you'd also have to buy an Apple Belt.

u/AudioMan15 · 2017 · 75,032 pts

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If we colonize Mars and bring chicken with us , then they would have the ability to actually fly since mars gravity is about 38% earth's gravity.

u/LongLiveBall · 2019 · 75,012 pts

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It only takes one slow-walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that you're a nice person.

u/ritzz2_0 · 2020 · 74,950 pts

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The job of future historians will be the exact opposite of what it is now. From too little information to too much information. Filtering out what was real and what fake.

u/[deleted] · 2019 · 74,927 pts

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If reincarnation is real, then maybe flies and other bugs are purposely annoying because they want to get killed and get reincarnated as something better

u/_Alvin_Row_ · 2018 · 74,886 pts

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Given how often your character dies in video games, in most timelines, the bad guys win.

u/egosuminimicus · 2020 · 74,862 pts

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There's a neverending waterfall of poo hidden inside every skyscraper

u/PygmeePony · 2020 · 74,854 pts

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Girls are so used to compliments that insults stick out to them. Guys are so used to insults that compliments stick out to him.

u/its_rant_time · 2019 · 74,851 pts

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Eating lunch alone as a kid is like torture, getting to eat lunch alone as an adult is a nice treat.

u/YMCAle · 2018 · 74,811 pts

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A gold fish's job is to introduce kids to dying

u/es_price · 2019 · 74,526 pts

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A child eating a cake in the middle of the night is having a great time. An adult eating a cake in the middle of the night is having a terrible time.

u/TheTromboneGeek · 2019 · 74,447 pts

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The first parents to let their kids cook in front of Gordon Ramsey, before any of us knew that he is actually really nice and patient with young chefs, must have really hated their kid

u/[deleted] · 2020 · 74,423 pts

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Having one bar of wifi is worse than having no wifi at all

u/moneybot13 · 2019 · 74,387 pts

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If lab-grown meat becomes the norm, our children and grandchildren will probably think we're monsters for killing and eating animals

u/Joshgg13 · 2022 · 74,338 pts

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If I see Google in a show/movie I think nothing of it, but if I see Bing, I know it's product placement.

u/evan3138 · 2017 · 74,328 pts

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“Lazytown” was a show in which the protagonists promoted health and criticized unhealthy behavior, such as being on the internet all the time. Now the antagonist of the show is an icon to those who browse the internet all day

u/bustion · 2018 · 74,313 pts

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In Despicable Me, the entrance to the villain bank is in the middle of three urinals, which makes sense because no sane person would use the middle urinal to avoid being right next to someone while peeing. Plus only a villain would use the middle urinal to create the chaos anyway.

u/shooception · 2020 · 74,288 pts

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The fact that a blood red lunar eclipse is happening only a week after they opened that black sarcophagus in Egypt is kinda unsettling.

u/starkillerrx · 2018 · 74,247 pts

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When you choke on water, you’ve failed at breathing and drinking, the two most important activities in your life.

u/_Dust_ · 2018 · 74,240 pts

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If a company celebrates 365 days accident free, then they're celebrating the anniversary of the accident.

u/lotus1788 · 2019 · 74,229 pts

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If you run at 11pm you are a night person. If you run at 5am you are a morning person. If you run at 3am you are a suspicious person.

u/[deleted] · 2018 · 74,189 pts

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The only part of your reflection you can lick is your tongue.

u/CardboardDreams · 2017 · 74,173 pts

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If people stranded on deserted islands don’t clean up their ‘HELP’ signs before they leave rescuers would spend hours looking for someone who isn’t there

u/zelgadiss44 · 2021 · 73,953 pts

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People who say not to talk to them before their morning coffee are basically saying that they're unpleasant to be around when they're not under the influence of drugs

u/baquea · 2018 · 73,941 pts

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If aliens are monitoring our media and 98% of the internet is porn...They're not giving us anal probes; they're just trying to speak the language.

u/grimfel · 2017 · 73,919 pts

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The reason why shows like Friends and The Office are so beloved is because they show us what we truly want in life - a tight knit social group that we're always a part of, no matter how bad we screw up.

u/elveax · 2019 · 73,791 pts

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There is a certain point in everyone's life where "How high can you count?" changes from a matter of knowledge to a matter of will.

u/marycartlizer · 2020 · 73,734 pts

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For every girl who wonders if a guy is staring at her, there is a guy who accidentally makes eye contact and is now afraid that she thinks he was staring at her.

u/ghatsim · 2018 · 73,693 pts

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Airports should have small movie theaters for layovers. They would make a killing.

u/2bagswalker · 2017 · 73,618 pts

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When a starving predator is chasing prey they are both running for their lives.

u/friskydingo94 · 2019 · 73,513 pts

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The internet has gotten dumber over time because it took stupid people longer to figure out how to use it.

u/LurkingOnBreak · 2019 · 73,492 pts

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Our buttholes are watertight. We can go swimming, get water in our ears, nose, and mouth, our butts however, no water. Amazing!

u/username5192 · 2021 · 73,409 pts

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smelling your own fart puts that fart back inside of you

u/tedt93 · 2019 · 73,401 pts

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When you introduce two different groups of friends to each other, it's like your own life's crossover episode.

u/Threatty · 2017 · 73,349 pts

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The number of guys that sit when they pee must have exploded when smartphones came out

u/YourPureSexcellence · 2020 · 73,333 pts

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The only people forced to see anti-piracy warnings are the people who don't pirate movies.

u/Apeman117 · 2018 · 73,224 pts

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1131 thoughts