1131 thoughts

It’s weird to think that nighttime is the natural state of the universe, and that daytime is only caused by a nearby, radiating ball of flame
u/DoodleQueen626  ·  2018   ·  73,208 pts
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Few things are sadder than leaving the vet's with an empty pet carrier.
u/RagenChastainInLA  ·  2019   ·  73,198 pts
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There’s probably a guy out there that thinks he has a strong pullout game when in reality he is not capable of making children.
u/[deleted]  ·  2022   ·  73,095 pts
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I'm lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.
u/slimmaslam  ·  2017   ·  73,072 pts
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As a kid, a friend living 15 minutes was really far away. As an adult, a friend living 15 minutes away is really close.
u/lecorrele  ·  2019   ·  73,071 pts
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A guy can decline an invitation by saying his girlfriend won't let him go and everyone will likely understand. But if a girl declines an invitation by saying her boyfriend won't let her go, people will likely get concerned.
u/1Calvin  ·  2016   ·  72,951 pts
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Teenage girls probably dress and try to look older because they want to look like teenage girls in movies who are probably mid 20s actresses
u/jagonig  ·  2019   ·  72,879 pts
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Shrek says “hold the phone” even though telecommunication does not seem apparent within the Shrek universe.
u/[deleted]  ·  2018   ·  72,838 pts
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"Based on a true story" movies are all part of the same series.
u/yetanotherAZN  ·  2018   ·  72,754 pts
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With how many streaming services there are it won’t be long before someone bundles them all together and we end up with Cable TV again.
u/KourteousKrome  ·  2019   ·  72,730 pts
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Parents who say, "If you're feeling well enough to play video games, you're feeling well enough to go to school!" don't seem to realize they are equating an extremely low impact leisure activity with a high stress and difficult involuntary obligation.
u/[deleted]  ·  2019   ·  72,728 pts
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One day the Lord of the Rings trilogy will be remade and we’ll all hate it
u/MithrandirElessar  ·  2020   ·  72,673 pts
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Witch hunting wouldn't have been so popular in medieval times if any of the victims were actual witches and had decided to fight back
u/[deleted]  ·  2019   ·  72,638 pts
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Wet clothes feel twice as nasty if you have to take them off and put them back on again
u/rdixon0310  ·  2020   ·  72,590 pts
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Rockstar has really proven with their popular games GTA V and Red Dead Redemption 2 that we have never really outgrown playing cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians
u/meinschatzist  ·  2018   ·  72,546 pts
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If stress ruins meat, then most humans must taste like garbage.
u/hmtheman8908  ·  2021   ·  72,541 pts
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All that time they spent teaching us cursive, they could've spent teaching sign language instead
u/SUPER__FRESH  ·  2019   ·  72,536 pts
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Honestly the least realistic part about the Magic School Bus is that a public school has a class size of 8.
u/hoosiernamechecksout  ·  2019   ·  72,468 pts
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A clear toothpaste tube would make so much sense.
u/Gustafutanv  ·  2019   ·  72,461 pts
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The main child actors in Harry Potter were tutored on set so they theoretically went to school at Hogwarts
u/dollysharton  ·  2019   ·  72,397 pts
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The movie "Free Willy" is about freeing a captive Orca while using a captive Orca to play the Orca they're trying to free from captivity.
u/NOT_A_JABRONI  ·  2021   ·  72,300 pts
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We really take for granted that both our legs grow at the same time and at the same rate.
u/[deleted]  ·  2019   ·  72,186 pts
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Star-Lord from the Guardians of the Galaxy movies probably still thinks Santa is real. He was taken from Earth as a kid and then raised in space around aliens and crazy creatures the rest of his life. He probably assumes Santa is an alien.
u/bloomin__onions  ·  2018   ·  72,159 pts
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The Onion might go bankrupt because they can't compete against the reality now
u/[deleted]  ·  2017   ·  72,046 pts
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People often forget that there was a time before glasses, which explains many historical myths and legends.
u/Panionator  ·  2019   ·  72,031 pts
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Based on how much you can bond with someone by hating the same thing, a dating app based on dislikes would probably be fairly successful.
u/KnavishFob  ·  2022   ·  72,003 pts
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A wireless charger restricts your phone much more than a wired one does.
u/OPlang1752  ·  2020   ·  71,964 pts
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Water is a beverage whose flavor is its temperature.
u/umbrazno  ·  2018   ·  71,899 pts
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Your face is a combination of thousands of years worth of other people’s faces.
u/DanReddItAll  ·  2019   ·  71,876 pts
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The degree to which one hates mosquitoes is typically based on how much mosquitoes love them.
u/[deleted]  ·  2020   ·  71,853 pts
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Making a typo in an online argument is the equivalent of voice cracking in a verbal argument.
u/Metamight123  ·  2018   ·  71,805 pts
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With Jeff Bezos having $116.8 billion and the average person having 100 billion brain cells, Jeff Bezos literally has more money than sense.
u/makeshitcomplicated  ·  2018   ·  71,719 pts
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Some parking spaces make more money in an hour than a worker on a minimum wage.
u/feridunferman  ·  2020   ·  71,685 pts
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A "lap" is a non-existent body part that imaginably exists only when you are sitting
u/obwilly  ·  2019   ·  71,664 pts
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An underrated perk of being an adult is you no longer outgrow your clothes.
u/Katneto  ·  2018   ·  71,660 pts
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A telltale sign you're becoming an adult is when you first realize how freaking fast dust forms.
u/issavibeyuh  ·  2020   ·  71,486 pts
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Harry Potter is way too emotionally stable for a kid raised by a family who hates him.
u/SammichParade  ·  2018   ·  71,440 pts
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Labeling something “military grade” makes it seem so high quality, unless it is food.
u/MaxmillianLionfang  ·  2019   ·  71,417 pts
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There is probably a high volume and variety of drugs in trash cans near airport check-in from people who chicken out at the last minute
u/pkrauss45  ·  2019   ·  71,388 pts
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Everyone claims to have OCD until it's time to put the shopping cart in the cart corral.
u/boltaxtion  ·  2019   ·  71,368 pts
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"Send nudes, not nukes" is the "make love, not war" of this century
u/xmeehan  ·  2017   ·  71,337 pts
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The more bad guys that a hero is facing in a movie, the better their chance of survival; 1v5 is no problem but 1v1 will see the hero messed up pretty bad.
u/meme-lobster  ·  2018   ·  71,260 pts
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It's kinda weird how we basically have an endless mental conversation with ourselves.
u/FrensCallMeQ  ·  2019   ·  71,221 pts
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Dogs hear us talk all day, but if they bark for more than a minute we tell them to stop.
u/PatientParfait  ·  2020   ·  71,137 pts
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Kanye West probably thinks he is a genius because he spends most his time with the Kardashians.
u/Mysticaltugboat  ·  2018   ·  71,116 pts
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The voice in your head has grown up with you and at one point was a child.
u/yummygumdrop  ·  2019   ·  71,081 pts
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Jack Black is everything a kid wants to be between a movie star, rock star, and famous youtuber
u/RidicTheAnimator  ·  2019   ·  71,052 pts
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After our ancestors discovered smoking something gets you high - they must have smoked a lot of weird stuff to see what other highs they could get.
u/TheSpin1  ·  2019   ·  70,965 pts
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The CEO of Starbucks technically runs one of the worlds largest drug empires
u/PsychedelicPistachio  ·  2018   ·  70,857 pts
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Ironically a blind person has less chance of walking into a glass door
u/Lagomorphix  ·  2019   ·  70,841 pts
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